Win a Nick Daws Novelty Book!
Regular readers of this blog will know that I write a steady stream of novelty and trivia items for various clients. I enjoy the break from my more 'serious' writing, and although I'll never get rich from this source, it provides me with a steady income.I've just taken delivery of my authors' copies of a couple of novelty books I wrote last year, so I thought it might be fun to give one of each away as a contest prize. I'll explain the contest in just a moment. The books are 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work (pictured) and 365 Ways to Wreak Revenge. Obviously, they are both tongue-in-cheek. Here's a sample item from 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work...
Pranks
Here's an amusing little prank to lighten anyone's day. First, make a voodoo doll of your victim (it doesn't have to be particularly lifelike). Then, go up to the person and, right in front of them, start stabbing the doll with a pin. Of course, nothing will happen, and your victim will probably laugh at you. Then just take the pin and stab them in the same spot as you did the doll...
And here's one of the items in 365 Ways to Wreak Revenge...
Revenge on a Co-Worker
Let's call your target Frank. Go up to Frank, when he's talking with Dave and a group of others, and say, 'Hey, Frank, do your impression of Dave!' When Frank protests that he doesn't do an impression of Dave, you say, 'Don't be modest, you had the whole room in fits yesterday.' Then leave.
If you'd like to win either of these essential reference guides - which I'm happy to sign if you like - all you have to do is post a comment on this blog post saying which book you would like to win, and why.
I will award one copy of each title to whoever comes up with the most amusing (to me) reason for wanting the book in question in under 150 words. Please note that you can post your entry anonymously if you don't have a Google account, but it will help if you include your name so I know how to refer to you. To post your comment, just scroll down to the bottom of this post and click on Comments (yes, kind of obvious, I know...). Comments on this blog are moderated, so there will be a short delay before your entry appears.
The closing date for this contest is Friday 16 May 2008, so you should have plenty of time. Just one entry per person, please (so make it a good one).
By the way, these books are classed as novelty goods, so you can't order them from bookshops. So unless you happen to see them in the shops, this is the ONLY way you will get your hands on one!
* See this contest and many others listed at The Prize Finder website.
The contest is now closed. Results will be announced on this blog on Monday 19 May.
Nick at 9:19 AM 
15 Comments:
Hi Nick,
I would love a (signed) copy of how to wreak revenge on a co-worker.
As you know, my husband is my co-worker and the irony of it is 'I' trained him to be a writer, persuading him to 'try writing' in the first place. I taught him all I know, shared your courses with him, and eventually he gave up work to be a full-time writer. He then went on to get a job at about.com, something which I can't seem to manage, and it annoys the hell out of me!
The student is outdoing the teacher and needs to learn a hard lesson - evil grin!
Suzie x
Congrats on being the first to enter, Suzie!
Btw, Revenge on a Co-Worker is just the heading of that particular item. Others include Revenge on a Car Owner, Revenge on a Neighbour, Revenge on a Roommate, and so on...
There are five categories in 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work. As well as Pranks, there are Entertaining Pastimes, Getting Away Without Doing Any Work, Social and Behavioral Studies, and To Liven Up Meetings!
Dear Nick,
I love to receive your book, 365 ways to wreck revenge.
My good reason being "I'm going to give your future readers the 366th way, after reading all 365 of yours.
That's a tall order I suppose. A giver has a big heart to forget I guess.
Lee Frank from Hong Kong
leefrank1421@gmail.com
Hi Nick, being in possesion of your revenge book would soon allow me to become queen of opur department. Woeking in a busy institution with team members ranging from surgical consultants to cleaners with all the rif-raf such as myself in between means there are many shenanigins going on throughout the day. With several attepmts of practical jokes and some of sabotage means there is plenty of opportunity for me to wreak my revenge in the most fantastic way. So please take this plea and make the world a more fair place for all to enjoy.
Thanks, Jo.
joanna.johnson@hotmail.co.uk
Nick, I would love to win a copy of your book. As long as you had held it, and I could recover microscopic traces of your DNA, and then ... with my cloning equipment... in the Laboratory... Mwa ha haaaa!!!
A WHOLE WORLD FULL OF NICKS! Together we can conquer the world...
I would love to win a copy of 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work simply because I am already the joker in the office. Well, I make most of my colleagues laugh whenever we are stressed up or not. With this book of yours, I might be able to make them laugh harder.. and harder. I always think that FUN is an important element when we are working.
I would love to win a copy of how to have fun at work Nick. It has all been way too serious of late, and let's face it, girls just wanna have fun !
Hi Nick,
We have a table on the terrace outside which has always been a bit wobbly.
Before I enter this competition, I would like to know the exact thickness of each book. Only then will I be able to assess how much effort I need to put in to my entry.
My estimate is that about 12.6 millimetres would prop up the wobbly leg sufficiently.
;)
Hi Rob
These books are small, but thick. I just measured one and it has a depth of 54mm. So it's a bit thicker than you need, but you could always tear it in half. I calculate that a section comprising about 80 days should do the job nicely!
That's excellent news, Nick. On this basis, please accept my official competition entry as follows:
Dear Nick,
I would be delighted to win even a part of one of these excellent publications as long as the aforementioned 'part' was at least 12.6 millimetres thick.
Not only would this cure our wobbly table leg problem once and for all, but you yourself would have the satisfaction of knowing that you had prevented future spillages of coffee, wine, ouzo, and a variety of other beverages.
Yours hopefully,
Rob
P.S. Perhaps you should consider dividing each book into two or three prizes and thereby delight others who may also have a similar wobbly table leg problem. Just a thought. :)
Last week my husband refused to do a favor for someone he doesn't know all that well.
This week she left us an anonymous phone call. She was careful not to leave her name, but our answer-phone logs the number of incoming messages.
According to this woman who makes anonymous phone calls, my husband is "chicken". According to this woman who walked out on her kids a few months ago, my husband is "a shameless degenerate with no human feelings." All said with tremendous conviction and venom.
So I'd like a copy of "365 Ways to Wreak Revenge" please. Your suggestions are probably far more civilized than the ones I'm thinking of right now.
On second thoughts, I'll just tell the village gossips that I won a competition with an anecdote about an anonymous phone call. She's sure to hear about it, and she's a very envious person.
Hi Nick,
I would love to win a copy of "365 Ways to Wreak Revenge" please. I live in a small cul-de-sac and for about a year now, my neighbours and I have been playing an unofficial version of "Needful Things" (think Stephen King) but without the blood and gore.
I am losing miserably, and desperately need some hints to push me back in front. I thought I was in the undisputable lead when I turned my neighbour's satellite dish around, but was quickly overtaken by someone filling my water feature with bubble mixture.
I have a clean path now, but no ideas for wreaking revenge!
Beverley.
beverley.kerry@talk21.com
Hello Nick,
I shall vie for both books, happy to receive either.
365 Ways To Have Fun at Work would make an excellent Father's Day or birthday gift for my husband. Not only would he use this book as intended, he would delight in setting it on his desk and sharing it with co-workers solely to annoy his humorless, strictly business boss and feel satisfied in knowing there is justice.
As for 365 Ways to Wreak Havoc, I have a teenage son who continues to find new and hair pulling ways to wreak havoc of his own and has recently informed me that he has decided that my jokes are getting more and more lame. I would like to throw the book at him – figuratively of course.
Thank you,
~Deb
DGSquared@MWC
There is a need to have fun, especially at work – after all, job satisfaction is the name of the game. And of course the battle of the plebs versus the rabble must continue. Paper clips and rubber band battles, or chase me round the table tennis table with a rubber stamp don’t quite seem up to the task these days and even the wrap the colleague up in parcel tape and leave him in a wheelie bin prank is running a bit tame these days– we’re in need of some more craftier, zanier ideas to vie one side of the office against the other. For this reason I should like to win 365 ways to have fun at work. For as they say laughter is the best medicine.
Thank you very much to everyone who entered. The contest is now closed. The winners will be announced here on Monday 19 May.
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