One of my regular clients, Lagoon Games, is looking for a writer with teaching experience for a new project. Here is the ad they asked me to publicize:
Publisher compiling funny translation book of rude words and phrases for kids. If there is anyone who has experience of teaching younger kids languages and what falls within the boundaries of acceptance for an age group under 13, please contact Nikole Bamford at nikole-at-lagoongames.com.
The languages will be French, Spanish, German and Chinese - you don't have to know all these but a knowledge of phonetics would also help. This is a paid project.
Good luck if you decide to apply for this. Lagoon are regular clients of mine, and nice people to work with. The company is UK-based but their biggest market is the US, so I would assume that as long as you have the skills they want for this job, you could be based anywhere in the world.
Update 28 August 2008: Nikole tells me this vacancy is still open. It's a good - and paying - opportunity for any writer with some language teaching experience. Even if you're not sure if you qualify, it's well worth emailing Nikole to enquire. I can confirm that she doesn't bite!
Regular readers of this blog will know that I write a steady stream of novelty and trivia items for various clients. I enjoy the break from my more 'serious' writing, and although I'll never get rich from this source, it provides me with a steady income.
I've just taken delivery of my authors' copies of a couple of novelty books I wrote last year, so I thought it might be fun to give one of each away as a contest prize. I'll explain the contest in just a moment. The books are 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work (pictured) and 365 Ways to Wreak Revenge. Obviously, they are both tongue-in-cheek. Here's a sample item from 365 Ways to Have Fun at Work...
Pranks
Here's an amusing little prank to lighten anyone's day. First, make a voodoo doll of your victim (it doesn't have to be particularly lifelike). Then, go up to the person and, right in front of them, start stabbing the doll with a pin. Of course, nothing will happen, and your victim will probably laugh at you. Then just take the pin and stab them in the same spot as you did the doll...
And here's one of the items in 365 Ways to Wreak Revenge...
Revenge on a Co-Worker
Let's call your target Frank. Go up to Frank, when he's talking with Dave and a group of others, and say, 'Hey, Frank, do your impression of Dave!' When Frank protests that he doesn't do an impression of Dave, you say, 'Don't be modest, you had the whole room in fits yesterday.' Then leave.
If you'd like to win either of these essential reference guides - which I'm happy to sign if you like - all you have to do is post a comment on this blog post saying which book you would like to win, and why.
I will award one copy of each title to whoever comes up with the most amusing (to me) reason for wanting the book in question in under 150 words. Please note that you can post your entry anonymously if you don't have a Google account, but it will help if you include your name so I know how to refer to you. To post your comment, just scroll down to the bottom of this post and click on Comments (yes, kind of obvious, I know...). Comments on this blog are moderated, so there will be a short delay before your entry appears.
The closing date for this contest is Friday 16 May 2008, so you should have plenty of time. Just one entry per person, please (so make it a good one).
By the way, these books are classed as novelty goods, so you can't order them from bookshops. So unless you happen to see them in the shops, this is the ONLY way you will get your hands on one!
A few weeks ago in this post I talked about the 50th birthday party of my old friend, the poet and performer Simon Pitt.
Simon threw a great party for friends and family in a Birmingham pub. And as part of this he organised a night of cabaret-style entertainment, headlined by himself and guitarist Tony Wille, in their long-standing partnership Redman Greenman.
I was there with my video camera and recorded the whole of Simon and Tony's set. It's taken me a while (I'm new to this video lark), but I finally got the footage I shot uploaded to YouTube. So here - as promised back in January - is a taste of the entertainment we enjoyed that night. This is Redman Greenman's opening number. I thought it was a good one to post for an audience of writers, as it's called Cliches...
If you are receiving this post by email, you will need to visit my blog to watch the video.
Sorry the video is a bit dark, by the way. The pub was chock-a-block with guitars, amplifiers and who knows what, but nobody thought to bring any extra lighting...
Also, in case you're wondering, I couldn't just post the whole set on YouTube, as it was half an hour long, and the maximum duration for a YouTube video is 10 minutes. So I ended up chopping the set into eight short videos, one for each of the numbers Simon and Tony performed. If you'd like to see them all, I've created a special Redman Greenman page on my website and put them there.
And finally, just in case you're interested in booking Redman Greenman or want to offer them a multi-million dollar recording contract, you can contact them via the web page of Tony Wille (Redman). Or, of course, I'll be more than happy to pass any messages on.
* I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen * Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues * Cheese Problems Solved * If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs * People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr Feelgood * How to Write a How to Write Book
Of course, I wrote the last one - no, only kidding! It was actually a guy called Brian Piddock. His publisher says: 'It's the book that will tell all you less-than-successful authors where you went wrong. No longer must you try and sell your novel or play or memoir and be rejected again and again. Now you can write your own How to Write book, and at last success will be yours.'
I'm saying nothing ;-)
Other books that, according to The Bookseller, narrowly missed out on a shortlist place this year included:
* Drawing and Painting the Undead * Stafford Pageant: The Exciting Innovative Years 1901-1952 * Tiles of the Unexpected: A Study of Six Miles of Geometric Tile Patterns on the London Underground.
They all sound fascinating reading. The winner will be chosen by a website poll that is open to anyone. So why not visit The Bookseller site and cast your vote? The poll is on the right-hand side of the homepage - you may just have to scroll down a little to see it. The winner will be announced on 28 March.
Jayne showed me this video on YouTube the other day. It's called Cat Wake Up Call, and it cracked me up when I saw it. Be sure the sound on your PC is switched on to get the full effect...
If you're getting this blog by email, you may need to visit www.mywritingblog.com to view the video.
And yes, as a cat owner myself, I know exactly where the maker of this little cartoon is coming from!
How to be Funny is intended for anyone who would like to develop their sense of humour. The author, Max Matterson, has worked in the world of comedy for the past 20 years. He has been a headlining stand-up comedian in Los Angeles, and taught comedy to writers across the globe. He has also had eleven comedy productions commissioned by the BBC.
How to be Funny is sold as an instant download. The file is a quite substantial 101MB, so you really do need a broadband/DSL connection to download it in this form. If you only have dial-up access, you might want to ask WCCL's helpdesk service if the course is also available on CD-ROM. I couldn't see anything about this on the sales page, but I might have missed it.
One other point to bear in mind is that How to be Funny is password-protected. You will find the password in the email you receive from WCCL when you purchase the course, so don't delete this.
How to be Funny arrives as a compressed Zip file. When you unzip this - perhaps using an application such as WinZip - you will find that it contains three items: a comedy screensaver, including one-liners from the course set against attractive backgrounds (I love this, by the way!); a "comedy confidence" hypnosis session, designed to build your confidence before performing to an audience; and the main How to be Funny manual in PDF format.
The manual is obviously the centrepiece of the course, so let's look at this in detail. It comprises 95 single-spaced pages of advice from Max Matterson in an attractive, readable font. You are free to print out any or all of the pages if you wish, and I was pleased to see a detailed table of contents at the front (though not hyperlinked, unfortunately).
Following a short introduction, the manual is divided into three main sections. Part One, How to be Funny, explains the basic rules of comedy, and shows how you can use them to make up your own jokes. This section also covers comedic timing and delivery, how to memorize jokes, and so on. It includes plenty of practical exercises to help you come up with your own comedy ideas.
Part Two, Enhance Your Humor, goes into much more detail about jokes and humour generally. It discusses the different types of humour, and how to use humour in a range of situations: the workplace, business presentations, with friends, and so on. Dealing with put-downs and heckles is discussed, as is being sensitive to the needs and expectations of different types of audience.
Finally, Part Three is a collection of resources from the Web. Over 50 sites are listed here, under a range of headings including Jokes, How to Use Humor in the Workplace, How to Use Humor in Presentations, and so on. Following on from Part Three, you also get some additional bonus items, including a large collection of favourite jokes and one-liners.
Overall, I was impressed with the manual, which is well written and comprehensive. It provides some real insights into the art of writing and performing comedy, and the many exercises it includes are a great way to flex your comedic muscles.
In my view, the manual will be of most use to people who actually want to perform comedy - from aspiring stand-ups to those who want to use comedy more effectively in business presentations and such like. It would also be great for anyone who wants to improve their comedic skills in social situations.
There is no doubt, also, that the techniques taught in the manual would be highly relevant to comedy writers. That applies especially to people who want to write gags for comedians, or short comedy items for greeting cards, TV sketch shows, cartoons, and so on. The manual isn't aimed primarily at writers, however, and you will need to look elsewhere for advice on the correct format for writing (say) TV comedy, where to submit your work, and so on. Dare I say it, my course Quick Cash Writing includes plenty of advice on this type of thing.
Finally, I should mention that How to be Funny is currently available at a special offer price of just $29.95 (around 14.95 UK pounds or 21.95 euro). For that money, and when you take into account the screensaver and self-hypnosis script also included, I reckon it represents amazing value for any aspiring comedian or comedy writer.
Here in the English Midlands, it's a damp, grey Monday morning. It may not be damp and grey where you are, but it's still Monday, so I thought you might appreciate a spot of light relief. Here's a video I was sent the other day, therefore. It cracked me up when I first saw it...
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Incidentally, I first heard the expression 'herding cats' some years ago when I was doing some work for Wolverhampton University Business School. The job involved adapting business course material for delivery over the Internet. At one point the manager in charge of the project expressed his frustration that he wasn't getting as much co-operation as he might have hoped: "Getting university lecturers to do anything together is like trying to herd cats," he sighed.
As a cat owner myself, I knew immediately what he meant!
